Thursday, September 3, 2009

I just got shat on...

We spend many evenings at the Dixie Chicken. The back porch is a favorite hang-out for our group of friends. There are a handful of little tiny trees lining the metered lot and a crap-ton of grackles in them--you know those disgusting black birds that are all over the place. Last Friday night we met some friends at the Chicken for a beer and dinner. While walking to our cars, our friend Neil turns around and says “I just got shat on”. In disbelief, Darby says back to him “nuh uh, you lie”! He turns around to show us the prize on his shoulder. Gross! All we can say is good thing he wasn’t looking up.

Speaking of getting “shat on”….we decided that the male species had done it too many times to each of us. This led to the development of a philosophy we like to call “The Good to Fun Ratio”. (It’s our philosophy—it deserves capitalization.)

We’re obviously so good at relationships—all late 20’s (and not married of course), but we do believe we have a few things figured out. What’s so wrong with knowing what you want and not settling for anything less? That’s where The Good to Fun Ratio, a scale of sorts, comes into play. We have spent many an hour crafting and perfecting the ratio we have come to know and love. What is this magnificent creation? You must be asking yourself. Let us fill you in on what we look for. It must be rocket science since it’s freaking impossible to find, so listen closely.

We look for 2 simple things in potential suitors. First, being the upstanding young women we are, we look for good things in people. To us, good means a church-going, family man raised with the values that are important to each of us—somebody who tries to do the right thing, be a good person and live faithfully. A “good” guy knows who he is and is comfortable with that, and he knows how to treat a girl with respect.

Here’s where the tricky part comes in—the fun side of this equation. We all agree that we want a good guy…but we don’t want a good guy that’s boring or not any fun. Our ideal guy will have his party pants on for Saturday night and his church clothes on for Sunday morning...somebody who can drink a beer with our dad and would also volunteer to mow an old lady’s lawn. Simple, right? :)

Here’s a visual (told you it was simple).

This blog is dedicated to all those who ask why we’re not married. Be prepared for this can of worms if you dare ask that question. :)