Thursday, September 3, 2009

I just got shat on...

We spend many evenings at the Dixie Chicken. The back porch is a favorite hang-out for our group of friends. There are a handful of little tiny trees lining the metered lot and a crap-ton of grackles in them--you know those disgusting black birds that are all over the place. Last Friday night we met some friends at the Chicken for a beer and dinner. While walking to our cars, our friend Neil turns around and says “I just got shat on”. In disbelief, Darby says back to him “nuh uh, you lie”! He turns around to show us the prize on his shoulder. Gross! All we can say is good thing he wasn’t looking up.

Speaking of getting “shat on”….we decided that the male species had done it too many times to each of us. This led to the development of a philosophy we like to call “The Good to Fun Ratio”. (It’s our philosophy—it deserves capitalization.)

We’re obviously so good at relationships—all late 20’s (and not married of course), but we do believe we have a few things figured out. What’s so wrong with knowing what you want and not settling for anything less? That’s where The Good to Fun Ratio, a scale of sorts, comes into play. We have spent many an hour crafting and perfecting the ratio we have come to know and love. What is this magnificent creation? You must be asking yourself. Let us fill you in on what we look for. It must be rocket science since it’s freaking impossible to find, so listen closely.

We look for 2 simple things in potential suitors. First, being the upstanding young women we are, we look for good things in people. To us, good means a church-going, family man raised with the values that are important to each of us—somebody who tries to do the right thing, be a good person and live faithfully. A “good” guy knows who he is and is comfortable with that, and he knows how to treat a girl with respect.

Here’s where the tricky part comes in—the fun side of this equation. We all agree that we want a good guy…but we don’t want a good guy that’s boring or not any fun. Our ideal guy will have his party pants on for Saturday night and his church clothes on for Sunday morning...somebody who can drink a beer with our dad and would also volunteer to mow an old lady’s lawn. Simple, right? :)

Here’s a visual (told you it was simple).

This blog is dedicated to all those who ask why we’re not married. Be prepared for this can of worms if you dare ask that question. :)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

How 'bout a 'that guy' sandwich?

Ever seen that guy on the dance floor who is just asking for you and your girlfriends to make a sandwich out of him? He’s the one wearing socks with his sandals and a Hawaiian shirt tucked in, dancing by himself while twirling glow sticks in a rave-like fashion, singing/rapping every word to “I like big butts and I cannot lie”. Come on girls—you know exactly who we’re talking about. You have a mental image of him right now.

He’s probably a nice guy in real life. Make his day. Make a sandwich out of him. It will be a night he never forgets. Look in his direction, give one of your girlfriends the signal and say, “let’s make a ‘that guy’ sandwich.” Head his way, corner him and he won’t know what hit him. The next day around the office watercooler, he will have a good story to tell, and so will you. It’s a win-win situation for all parties involved. Wonder if we’re speaking from experience? Well, of course we are! We wouldn’t tell you do to something unless we’re certain it would be a success.

For all you non-booty dancers out there, let us explain the concept of a sandwich (while making it grandmother appropriate, because they shouldn’t be exposed to that—haha—that’s for you Memom!) A sandwich occurs when 2 girls get on either side of an unsuspecting target and proceed to squish him while shamelessly dancing away. Don’t worry, he really likes it. Try it and let us know how it works out for you.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Windex and Pledge--A Girl's Best Friends

Another back porch, another glass (bottle) of wine, another bowl of queso. We’re sure that’s shocking news. Add fireflies and a swing and you have our view from the river house balcony porch--incredible!

Such a relaxing evening that is well deserved after our encounter with a giant spider in the house. He was just waiting for us to arrive. But don’t you worry, we took care of him with half a bottle of windex and several squirts of pledge—don’t judge us. If a girl squeals while killing a giant, scary spider and no one is around to hear, does it make a sound? After an argument over who would “finish him off”, Lexi bravely took off her shoe and smashed him. Green Beans and Moldy Bread 1 - Giant Spider 0 :-)

(We wrote this post last night and may or may not have slept with some Scrubbing Bubbles on the nightstand just in case we encountered any critters.)

Friday, August 14, 2009

CJ Car Scratcher

So…this Asian guy, CJ (or if you speak Chinese, Chin Wong Joon) backs into Lexi’s car in the cleaner’s parking lot. Dang it! She knew she had been avoiding the stupid cleaner’s for a reason. After an exchange of contact information (including a phone number dialed on the spot to make sure it was legit), and a signed statement from ol’ CJ explaining the “run-in”—hey, it’s what her dad always told her to do—she left the scene. Lexi then gets a random text that states, “I’m really sorry and whenever u figure it out just letting me know ASAP”. Not recognizing the number, Lexi asks who it is. A reply comes—“I made a scratch on your car”. Ol’ CJ came through and was turning out to be a decent guy after all. However, Lexi did save him as “CJ Car Scratcher” in her phone, just to be safe. Hey CJ, thanks for the laughs. You’re so funny/awesome that she’s not even mad at you.

You might be wondering why we haven’t blogged lately. Remember, people—we’re busy girls! Darby and Lexi are now on the road again (cue the Willie Nelson song)—headed to the river for a fun-filled bachelorette party weekend. ::BUM, BUM, BUM::……Another one bites the dust!:: Just kidding Stephanie…we are so excited for you and are looking forward to having a blast this weekend! Our car is loaded down with all types of unmentionables to provide for an entertaining party; one to be sure Stephanie will never forget. A house right on the river filled with 15 girls—we’re sure to get a decent story out of this for our avid readers—all 2 of you (thanks Mom).

Sooo…since we’re on the topic of bachelorettes…here’s a question posed by our other reader. What happens when one of you girls gets a boyfriend? The answer: nothing really changes. We will still be close. We will still be fun. And we will still be awesome. The only catch—we will just be a little busier. Increase the hours of fun in our day (Sorry work or sleep, one of you is going to suffer :-). Let’s face it—what man wouldn’t want to hang out with all three of us?! I mean, what a pimp daddy! We’re a package deal—you get one of us, you get all 3 of us. Whether that’s good or bad is in the eye of the beholder. The real challenge will be trying to find some men who can keep up. :-) Know any?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

We're cute, but we ain't fancy!

(11:00 pm 7/31/09) Green beans and moldy bread? Yep. You read that right. Because we’re 3 single girls and sometimes we eat green beans for dinner….and maybe a piece of bread if we have any that’s not moldy. Don’t kid yourself thinking we’re healthy or something, sometimes it’s all we have in the pantry and a trip to the grocery store is out of the question. As a matter of fact, we ate chips and queso tonight for dinner—with a glass of wine to make it classy (no real wine glass necessary).

Over a few too many green beers (2 beers…more on that later) at Carney’s on St. Patty’s day, this portion of the adventure began. We decided to take a girl’s trip to Ruidoso, NM. It had to be planned 4 months in advance because we couldn’t find a common free weekend between us. We’re busy! Life as a single woman isn’t as easy as it sounds. I mean, there are only so many hours in the day.

Many of our conversations revolve around whether we will ever be able to take care of anyone other than ourselves. We work full time and play full time. When will we fit in someone who actually depends on us? We have balance in life…8 hours of work, 8 hours of play, 8 hours of sleep = 24 hours in a day.

So…where are we now? You might have some trouble keeping up with us. We’re sitting on the porch of a cabin we’re renting for the weekend (thanks Buzz and Kim :-). The weather is amazing! 60 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. We’re drinking wine, wearing sweats (no makeup) and talking. What more could a woman ask for?

Are you wondering who we are and why you should keep reading? We are true girlfriends who have been known to have too much fun together. Darby is the planner (we’re talking OCD here) and she calls a spade a spade. Lexi is the patient, caring and indecisive one—she prefers we call her easy going. She’s everything Jeanie and Darby aren’t :-). Jeanie is feisty and stubborn—we’ll just call her a spitfire. Our paths crossed in graduate school (maybe at a bar?) and the town hasn’t been the same since. We’re independent, creative, fun, simple, funny, busy (see our schedulers), hard working, sincere, driven, smart, beautiful, optimistic, giving, blessed, adventurous, small town girls. We volunteer in the community, go to church on Sunday mornings—even after only 4 hours of sleep, and we LOVE happy hour. Who can say no to dollar margaritas or half-price bottles of wine? We’re daughters, sisters, good friends, Christians, professionals….well, at least between the hours of 8-5, travelers, dreamers, and genuinely happy with life—lemons and all, as long as the vodka is within reach :-).

We do what we say we’re gonna do….even if it means juggling multiple engagements in one evening. When we aren’t laughing together, we laugh at ourselves (or maybe at you). We live life to the fullest and we want you to join us on our journey.

Ok….that’s as serious as we’re gonna get. The weather is still amazing and we’re still drinking wine—surprised? There is a chick flick waiting for us and we have to get our beauty sleep if we’re going to make an appearance at the Jockey Club tomorrow. The horse races are calling our names. Do you think we should wear a fancy hat? Maybe we should settle for a lamp shade. We’re cute, but we ain’t fancy!